The Burden of Choice

I hope that next year brings changes

I hope next year you’re free of dangers

I hope next year you have only one burden

And that’s the burden of choice.

To choose to talk freely without fear of reprisals

To decide how to express yourself with no recrimination

To opt to travel by whatever means

To select your friends from the millions worldwide

To pick from a vast array of foods to feed your family

To have a desire that can be fulfilled

To want something small and be able to get it

To wish for peace and see the possibility

To favour freedom without facing hostility

To prefer to stay in your family home and not be in fear of eviction

To fancy all these choices as if they were a given

I make choices every day

I have that luxury

I elect to continue to be vocal

To determine outcomes I know to be right

I choose to do what I do

To have choices, you need freedom

That is my dream for you.

Julia Gillard....how dare you

I read this article and the anger rose up in me to the point where I had to respond to Ms Gillard directly and to the Jewish News. I'm venting, so I'm also posting it here on my blog...if for no other reason than to remind myself that you should take action while the reaction is still raw. Had I left this for a day to two I would have toned down my dialogue, been polite and maybe even apologised for my abrasiveness. I am proud of my response......
"I cannot tell you how infuriated I was to read that you attended this function. Why would you choose to ignore the criminal activities of Israel and align yourself with a government that is humiliating, denegrading and raping a country that it illegally continues to steal land from????? And then you make an ignorant statement like "the two countries had wide-ranging commonalities". Maybe in that we also stole land, persecuted our indigenous people and tragically interfere in their lives/livelihood and then take no responsibility for our wrong doings.You cannot begin to understand the anger and frustration I feel. How dare you, as a representative of our government participate in this forum and say "the start of what you would hope will grow into something like that, I thought that was a tremendous privilege and opportunity" & "To have a discussion about economic issues, security issues, world events generally, that was a great privilege,”. How self centred these comments are....you feel privileged to have been courted by the most ruthless, despotic, inhumane power on the planet????????Good for you..I hope it was worth losing any credibility you may have had previously."

I will more than likely read it tomorrow and think of something else I should have added, or said it differently or contemplated a bit longer before writing, but I was seething, and for good reason. It's truthful, emotive and to the point.....so I'll live with it and Julia can suck it up.

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable

faith in their mission can alter the course of history.

Mohandas Gandhi

My Sons...

This is my oldest doin' what he loves best..at the beach

This is my youngest...pensive

Thinking alot about my sons today...this is them. They might get snarky about me putting their faces out there for all my world to see. Oh well!!!! It's not like I joined Facebook so I can haunt and embarrass them.
I also caught up with a friend of mine today whom I hadn't seen or spoken to for about 30 years. I was a bit anxious about talking to her, wondering what to say, how it would go etc etc etc.
But we just seemed to pick up where we had left off...with lots of catching up of course. I found it really extraordinary. It was great finding out about her family and where life has taken her and it was good telling her about mine. We just fitted back in.
I also got an email from a friend in Palestine a few days ago. She has started a new blog about "normal" life in Palestine. Have a look at her first story..I found it amazing, honest and hopeful.
Her blog is http://its-a-normallife.blogspot.com/

I have a job....

I was offered a position today at http://www.banalasta.com.au/. I'm very excited. I accepted and I start next Monday. Go to their website and you'll find the beautiful Body Care range they produce using the oils from the eucalyptus radiata and lavender. You'll also find the selection of prize winning wines available under the Blickling Estate banner. I already knew Banalasta produced these but I didn't know about World Forest 2000. This is going to be an interesting, different and exciting job and I'm so looking forward to it. You should see my office.....a huge window overlooks the plantation. Yes, it's going to be real hard going there every day.....NOT.

The Nature of Mother Nature

I have had some free time lately and I've been thinking about where I fit in the big scheme of things. No answers yet on that one....
A poem I wrote about what we are doing and bringing upon ourselves...it's not good news.

The Nature of Mother Nature
We were graced with this earth and given the tools
To develop and exist, to abide by her rules
How cruel we can be to others on this sphere
Whose differences cause panic through ignorance and fear.
She guided us gently with love in her heart
She’d send us a warning when we strayed from her path
But we heeded nothing and continued, now comes her wrath.
Her hope is fading, her patience gone.
She’s sighing, her exasperated breath forcing our homes to rubble
She’s crying, tears flooding rivers, oceans rising
She’s trembling with anger, her ire shaking the land
Her heart is breaking, torn apart by her children’s malevolence.
Greed is the scourge that’s destroying our planet.
Wanting more, taking yours making it mine.
Adjusting the rules and history so we succeed.
The faces change but the deeds are the same.
Some have tried to show us the truth.
But they were slain for their honesty.
What is our future? How will this end?
We are answering to her now
The most formidable foe we have faced.
We need to grow up from the delinquents we are
Get on with the task of getting along.
Appease her, calm her, show her we are worthy.

It's a bit dark, but so are these times. I hope we can mend.

Chainmail - a new passion

This is my first attempt at chainmail. I am happy with the way it turned out. It took hours upon hours but once I got into the rhythm and knew what I was supposed to be doing I couldn't stop. I was going to make a focal piece to incorporate in a necklace, then it progressed to be a bracelet but I kept going and made it into a necklace instead...I added a piece of fine silver that I'd made out of silver clay a couple of months ago and used sterling silver wire to make the clasp.

Nearly 48 hmmm!

I have a big catch up to do here.....

Firstly and most importantly, I got an email from Bob Birch @ Through Australian Eyes today. I have copied a letter he sent to Ms Sally Begbie who is the Ombudsman at SBS Australia. My first thought after reading the letter was "why can't I write like that?" Bob is passionate, articulate and what he has to say is very relevant. I wish these were my words...

"Dear Ms Begbie,

It has come to my attention that you, in your role as ombudsman for SBS, have directed SBS journalists to not use the term "Palestinian land" to describe the occupied territories of East Jerusalem and the West Bank.

According to a memo from the Head of News the status of these territories "remains the subject of negotiation" and should be described solely with reference to their geographical location, for instance, "Israeli settlements on the West Bank".

May I remind you that the status of these territories is not the subject of negotiation. East Jerusalem and the West Bank (and thank you for having the good grace not to call it Judea and Samaria) are territories under military occupation by Israel. Their status is determined by international law, not by some Zionist whimsy.

Israel has carried out a sustained program of ethnic cleansing and dispossession of the native population from East Jerusalem and the West Bank under the military occupation since 1967. This has been accompanied by a media campaign to expunge the terms "Palestine", "Palestinian territories" and, in fact, "Palestinians" from the lexicon.

I wish to express my disappointment that SBS, a publicly-funded broadcaster, has seen fit to bow down to pressure from the pro-Israel lobby in taking this misguided and unethical stance."
Bob Birch.

On a more personal note ( it's all about me!) I had a visit to the dentist last week for the first time in many many years. Not much had changed that I'd noticed upon arrival...it was still frightening, the smell was the same aroma of torment and the pain was incredible. I had a tooth taken out. Well, first it was broken up into a thousand pieces while STILL IN MY GUM then the schrapnel was removed with what felt like the skill of a second year apprentice concreter. To the dentist's credit, she is diminuitive of stature, for a few moments I was sure she was going to put her knee on my chest for more leverage but she managed to rip all three roots out with the strength of someone 14 times her size. The sound was something that will come back to haunt me sporadically over the rest of my years of existence and never pale in intensity. My fists were clenched so tight I am sure I have transferred the prints from my fingers to the palm of each hand. I was dismayed to find that "please rinse" seems to have gone by the wayside but "you'll have to make another appointment" seems to have stood the test of time. New technology abounded...xrays done in the chair, computers recording all my dental data and while I got a stern talking to about smoking my bill was sent via cyberspace to the receptionist and was printed ready for payment before I got out there. Which was a blessing, because I just wanted to get the hell out of there, go home, self medicate and mope around feeling sorry for myself. And I have to go back next week......I suppose this confirms that I am not a 'prevention is better than cure' type of gal. I suppose it's all part of getting older......which I will be very soon.

I've noticed I don't have the patience to endure fools anymore, or people who believe they are mightier than most and think they have power. Maybe I never did and it's only now that I admit it. I also look at the bigger picture, the world, the unfairness, the beauty, the cruelty, the selfishness, the selflessness, how insignificant and how enormous some things are and I'm trying to find what is really important to me.

Ok, I'm putting it out there so there's no turning back....on Thursday, after 33 years, I WILL STOP SMOKING. Do I want to post this? It's a big call and a huge commitment. I think I'm ready though. My motivation is that with all the money I save I will go to Palestine for my 50th birthday. Wish me luck..

Another week...

Another week has passed by and in the comfort of my surroundings I am blasé. I worked, I fed myself, my husband and our dogs. I slept in this morning. I'll call my folks tonight and also talk to my sons later to find out what they got up to this weekend. I moaned about the cold and put some more wood in the fire to eleviate that inconvenience. And I ordered a heap of beads etc from America so I could make more jewelry. We had some friends over today for a visit.
This all seems so insignificant in the big scheme of things. I read about more arrests in Bil'in and that more families are being removed from their homes, to be relocated elsewhere, by the Israeli government and that illegal settlers are given these houses to live in. For the life of me I cannot fathom why the settlers would take these houses. A decent person would see the injustice in this and not wish to have a bar of it. How could you move into a house where the previous owner was forcibly evicted? How do you explain to your children that a family, just like yours, has been thrown out with indifference and contempt just so you can take over their piece of existence for the enhancement of your own government? This situation perpetuates the circle of mistrust, hatred and instability between these two peoples.
Set Emad Bortan, and all the other non-violent demonstrators who were recently kidnapped, free!!

My Poems

I have had comments about my poems and people have asked if I wrote them. Yes I did write them. I love writing poetry and sometimes a photo, story or thought just gives me the need to address it with words. The story of the children in Gaza who set a Guinness World Record for the kite flying inspired 4000 Kites-A Moment. I tried to imagine what it would be like for all the kids to feel so free and proud for this achievement. The first poem is how I feel sometimes when thinking about the plight/resolution for the Palestinian people: insignificant, small, powerless to help. I hope you enjoy them.

4000 Kites - A Moment

4000 children with kites in hand

release them skyward above a land

drenched in suffering, plagued by spite.

The kites climb steadily into the light.

4000 kites tussle for space

elation, excitement show on each face

of the children who hold the string.

The kites ascend and start to sing.

4000 voices of air unite

flapping, laughing spirits in flight

soar over figures below who look up in awe

as the sky is blocked out by this colourful score.

4000 strings between kites and hands

struggle to do what the wind demands

but they hold fast, they do their best

to do what these tiny hands request.

4000 faces alight with glee

watch as their kites sail high and free.

In a window of time their hopes too have flown.

A moment to cherish until they are grown.

1000000 people watch from outside

in another world, tears of joy cried

because our hopes rise with every kite

today, my friends, freedom is in sight.

1000000 people towards you blow

to keep the kites aloft and show

that we are with you, though we are apart

and one day we'll touch...not just with our heart.

Back to my Necklaces

I've been doing some more "beading" today. Although it was a gorgeous day I got so engrossed in making jewellery that I didn't even venture outside.
A friend of mine has a webite that is worth having a look at. It is http://haifashawwajewelry.blogspot.com:80/
I have also been twittering....not what I expected. It's just like verbal voyeurism really. You can follow heaps of celebs and see what they're up to but they more than likely won't ever get any messages you send unless they follow you. Confused??
Day off tomorrow...yeah! I might catch up on the news of the world. See what horrible things we are doing to each this time, still. It's hard to get your head around that the people who instigate appalling situations are basically people like us, with issues no doubt, but still only human beings. What, or who gives, them the right to inflict atrocities, humilitiation or degradation on others? I suppose we are all complicit by our silences.

Does it make you feel small

that your voice isn't heard?

Do you wish you had courage to act?

No that's just absurd.

What could you do to ease someone's plight?

What we could do is stand up and fight.

Not with our guns or with our hand

Fight with our numbers, woman and man.

Put it out there that we're as angry as hell

And soon enough our numbers will swell.

Then they will listen, we won't be ignored

Maybe then peace & dignity will be restored.

All this new technology!!!

I've been sitting at this computer all day getting my blog ready to go out into cyberspace.

I don't know what to put in and what to leave out. I don't want to give too much away about myself...I'm selfish like that...but I don't want to hold back either.

My husband is fearful of me putting all this info out there for the world to see and I keep re-assuring him that, more than likely, no-one is going to be interested in what I have to say anyway. Nine times out of ten I'm sure he is feigning interest in what I have to say.

If I was a good cook I'd include some recipes...but that's not going to happen.

If I could sing I'd learn how to insert a video of me belting out a few lines..again, not going to happen.

I have written some poems over the years...maybe one day I'll share one with whoever is out there.

I could talk about my family..sons, sisters, aunties, parents etc but that might end with me defending myself in some local court in some random town/city. As good natured as they all are I just don't trust myself not to tell all the dirt, spill all the beans, release those skeletons. And things have a way of biting back...maybe one of them will start a retaliatory blog and tell you all the seedy things from my past that haunt me in my sleep and cause me to have issues...whoa too much info got out then.

Maybe the best thing to do is to pack this up for the night and start fresh in the morning. Rise early, have a breakfast of champions (coffee & cigarette) then do some soul searching and let you have it....

Below is a picture of my second favourite creatures in the world...COWS. Luv 'em

My Favourite Past Time - Jewellery Making

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